Just a reminder to please try to keep your comments about Pamela neutral. What you see as "cute" is probably seen as something else by others, and I'd rather it not turn into an issue. Sorry, but I have to try to keep ahead of such things.
out of curiosity what do you consider neutral? i've seen people critizing pamela's fashion or facial expressions or saying she looks manly and personally i didn't think nasturtium_leas comments were any less neutral than those. for the record i don't care who elijah dates so i'm not taking sides or anything, just curious over what you consider inappropriate.
I'm afraid it's a matter of picking my battles. I thought this comment was likely to spark negative comments, so I said something. The comments about her dress I felt were simply veiled attempts at slamming Pam, but if I came down on them, I'd have to come down on all the people who said they liked her dress, so I decided to let it go.
There were a couple of comments that I thought were out of line, so one remained screened and the other was deleted. In the case of some of the others, it's very difficult to make the call as to whose comment is okay and whose is over the line... I try to do my best, and I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being unfair. I don't want the community to turn into a negative place that is ruled by an unforgiving dictator, so it's possible that I err on the side of leniency. It would be simpler if people simply didn't talk about Pamela at all, but if she's in the photo, someone is always going to say something. I suppose that I could make a rule that she is not to be mentioned, period, but that seems like such a childish thing to have to do...
If you have any comments or suggestions for how to handle this, I'd be interested in hearing them. If everyone were more mature and accepting of Elijah's relationships, whether they liked his choice or not, this community would be a lot easier to run!
it's true that nasturtium leas comments could have sparked negative comments from others, but I've seen others in here say more positive things about Pamela and that's why I was curious that this particular comment was singled out. i've also seen comments calling Pamela manly looking, etc, that were left so I wasn't sure what was deemed acceptible or inappropriate in here.
it's a shame that there has to be any censorship of any form at all, people shouldn't have to be told what's going too far, you'd think they'd just have the manners to know, obviously though there are the few on both sides who don't. that makes it unpleasant for everyone i think, not just those who wish to say something about Pamela - for or against - but for everyone else who feels they have to walk on eggshells because a few in a community can't behave themselves.
the only thing i could suggest is making a post pointing out your rules again, perhaps making it more clear what is acceptable and what isn't? If you're not sure when to chastise and when to leave alone, maybe the community members feel the same, maybe they don't know what's allowed and what isn't, i guess a lot falls into the gray area...
I did make this entry (http://community.livejournal.com/elijah_finds/96100.html) about a month ago, where I asked people to try to remain neutral. And you're right about the grey area... How could I possibly tell people exactly what is acceptable and what isn't? It's just not that simple. And, though I try to be as even-handed as possible, both "sides" always end up thinking that I'm picking on them more than I am the other guys. I can't win.
I'm really starting to think that the only real solution is to put a ban on any comments about Pamela. But there is no way I would ever actually do that except as a last resort.
sheesh you've already made a post about it and they're still carrying on? you must feel like you're banging your head against a wall! you're right about people claiming you're picking on them, i've seen comments like that and they were completely unfounded.
i really don't understand how people can't just behave maturely. i'm sure no matter who Elijah dates it will always be the same. they should focus on what this fandom is really about...drooling over elijah ;)
i'm sure if you put a ban on mentioning pamela than anyone who comes along and says 'here's a foto of elijah with pamela/gogol bordello/whatever' will get people crying 'you mentioned her name!' glad i'm not a mod! ;)
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elijah_finds
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-02 10:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-02 11:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-03 08:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-03 03:46 pm (UTC)There were a couple of comments that I thought were out of line, so one remained screened and the other was deleted. In the case of some of the others, it's very difficult to make the call as to whose comment is okay and whose is over the line... I try to do my best, and I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being unfair. I don't want the community to turn into a negative place that is ruled by an unforgiving dictator, so it's possible that I err on the side of leniency. It would be simpler if people simply didn't talk about Pamela at all, but if she's in the photo, someone is always going to say something. I suppose that I could make a rule that she is not to be mentioned, period, but that seems like such a childish thing to have to do...
If you have any comments or suggestions for how to handle this, I'd be interested in hearing them. If everyone were more mature and accepting of Elijah's relationships, whether they liked his choice or not, this community would be a lot easier to run!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-04 06:10 am (UTC)it's a shame that there has to be any censorship of any form at all, people shouldn't have to be told what's going too far, you'd think they'd just have the manners to know, obviously though there are the few on both sides who don't. that makes it unpleasant for everyone i think, not just those who wish to say something about Pamela - for or against - but for everyone else who feels they have to walk on eggshells because a few in a community can't behave themselves.
the only thing i could suggest is making a post pointing out your rules again, perhaps making it more clear what is acceptable and what isn't? If you're not sure when to chastise and when to leave alone, maybe the community members feel the same, maybe they don't know what's allowed and what isn't, i guess a lot falls into the gray area...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-04 06:26 am (UTC)I'm really starting to think that the only real solution is to put a ban on any comments about Pamela. But there is no way I would ever actually do that except as a last resort.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-04 06:36 am (UTC)i really don't understand how people can't just behave maturely. i'm sure no matter who Elijah dates it will always be the same. they should focus on what this fandom is really about...drooling over elijah ;)
i'm sure if you put a ban on mentioning pamela than anyone who comes along and says 'here's a foto of elijah with pamela/gogol bordello/whatever' will get people crying 'you mentioned her name!' glad i'm not a mod! ;)